A Pirate with a peg leg, a hook and an eye patch walks into a bar. The bartender recognizes the pirate and says, “Well, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen the likes of you in here. How did you get the wooden leg?” The pirate replies, “Well, me ship got attacked and a cannon blew me leg off.” The bartender then asks, “And how about the hook?” To which the pirate replies, “Me hand was cut off in a sword fight.” “Alright then,” says the bartender, “How did you get the eye patch?” The pirate sighs and says, “A seagull pooped in me eye.” The bartender gives him a confused look, and the pirate responds, “It was me first day with the hook.”

1) I have never had a single drop of Monday Night Brewery beer
2) I contributed the name Eye Patch Ale
3) My legal rights extend to suing shirts, footwear and hats, but not pants. Never pants.

;-)