Closer to a new pirate-themed IPA name

Thanks everyone for stupidly ceding your beer name ideas to us for zero monetary consideration. You’re truly generous and/or naive. Of the 13 responses we’ve received thus far, I’ve hand-picked out a few of my favorites:

• Eye Patch Ale (a play on IPA… think about it)
• Mutiny IPA
• Hoppy Plank IPA

Give us your thoughts on these, and suggest better ones if you’re pirate enough. A couple thought-starters:

• Landlubber
• Crossbones
• Plank
• Treasure

We say goodbye to the Swashchuckler IPA

It is with a heavy heart that we retire the name “Swashchuckler.” We love the beer so much, but the name is just too hard to pronounce. Joel has trouble with “vowels,” but this has no bearing on the matter.

And so we open it up to you, dear readers, to provide us with a better name. We only ask that it remain pirate-themed, as pirates are the badass scourge of the high seas. Unfortunately Pegleg is already taken. In the 3 minutes of brainstorming we’ve conducted, our best idea is Plankwalker IPA. Swashbuckler is our fallback.

But surely you guys have something even better and more… pirately?

Mo ‘staches, mo problems

It seems that the ulcerous quest for mustachio’d sponsors is nearing a close! Thanks to you, dear readers, we have secured more than enough mustaches to heal all 8 of my known ulcers, thus allowing me to drink beer once again. Before we get into the latest round of sponsors, I would first like to acknowledge my co-worker Matt, who inspired the title of this post with his “Mojitos, Mo’ Problems” t-shirt, which he dons whenever the occasion seems casual enough. Matt, there’s nothing manlier than a mojito. Except perhaps 2 mojitos.

But enough of this jibber-jabber. To the mustaches!

7) Jerre’s 30minutestache

Jerre Maynor, notorious for his ability to grow facial hair in a short amount of time, has submitted the first in a series of photos to be taken every half hour until his mustache is full-grown. I think it will take approximately 2 and a half hours, all told.

8) Kenneth’s Grossstache

Kenneth, friend of the Beerbuddha, and his hairy little friend. The thing about the mustache is that it can turn even a normal photo into an excellent mug shot. It has that power.

9) Joel’s Semistache

Joel, this is disgusting. But I’ll give you credit, you can grow more hair than Jeff. That’s not saying a lot, but thanks for trying.

10) Bryon’s feeble attempt at a ‘stache

Bryon, thanks for thinking of me. But my ulcers demand more (or less) than a beard. Shave the rest of that crap and get back to us.

And that should do it for now! I’ve got tentative mustaches on the way from a few other folks, but until I get photographic evidence, it’s a no go. There’s still time if you want to jump on board late. Who knows, I may even have a few extra ‘staches to donate to ulcer research.

The numbers don’t lie

Neither does Jeff. We hit our gravity last night on the nose ? and all Joel had to do was add a little ‘sumpin-sumpin’ to the wort!

Exhibit A. Joel looking like he could be on MTV’s G’s to Gents. Actually, it’s our new summertime cooling method. An immersion chiller to bring the temperature down from boiling to 90 degrees. Then we add ice around the bottom for the final 10-15 degrees. It works pretty well, and we haven’t gotten any of the bad batches that we got when we used our fancy counterflow chiller. Interesting…

Exhibit B. Me looking extra fly. Clove cigarettes, mustaches and dramatic lighting. Need I say more? This was my first full night of brewing since May, which means I got to stick around for the wind-down session on Jeff’s porch. While I couldn’t partake of any of the beer (ulcers), I was able to partake of a few cloves. Probably less healthy, all in all.

Brewing the Drafty Kilt tonight

Stop by Jeff’s tonight to drink some beers and help brew another, slightly adjusted Drafty Kilt scotch ale. You may recall that we dialed down the recipe to make it more “user-friendly.” It ended up at 5.1% ABV, down from around 8%. We’re going to dial it back up just a smidge and try for 6%. Given Jeff’s unerring accuracy in all things numeric (particularly if he’s making them up), I don’t think we should have a problem.

On a different note, guess who grew a mustache for my ulcers?

“Leave no mustache behind”

5 ulcers have been effectively sponsored, only 3 more to go. Actually, 2 more. I present to you Mustache #6:

6) Walter’s Beachstache

Walter sent in this photo of what appears to be slightly moldy peach fuzz. Gross, but it’ll do. Thank you sir.

And I’ve also received word from Beerbuddha that there may be a fu manchu coming my way soon. I’m just waiting on photographic evidence. Which would mean… we’re only one mustache shy of a completely healed digestive system. Come on, people, RALLY! I can’t drink any beer until these things are gone. It’s torture.

Uggh. I just looked back up at Walter’s Beachstache and got the heeby-jeebies. I hope I never have to see it in person.