Do not show up tonight

If you do, you will be bitterly disappointed. There will be no beer to brew. There will be no beer to drink. It will be hot. You will get bitten by mosquitoes.

You will drive home sobbing. It will be hard to see the road through your tears. You will swerve to narrowly miss hitting a pedestrian. Instead of a person, you will hit a mailbox. The owner of the mailbox will come out of his house in boxer shorts and a wife beater. He will be yelling at you. He will be fat. He will make you cry even more. He will smell like sweat, vinyl, and cigarettes. You will walk home. You will have no more tears to cry because of dehydration. You will stop at a gas station to get a Powerade. But their refrigerators will not be working. You will buy a lottery ticket instead of a Powerade. And you will lose.

It will be the worst night of your life.

New Monday Night tees are here! Only $10!

Okay folks. Our new American Apparel Monday Night tees are here. In three colors. I apologize in advance for the modeling. We’re hoping to find someone a little less stunningly gorgeous for future photo shoots. Tees also have a small “Monday Night Brewing” insignia on the upper back. Only $10, bring money to brewing next time to claim one! COLLECT ALL THREE!

Monday Night recap: “How to take forever to fix a hose” edition

We experimented with our signature Eye Patch Ale last night. We’re hoping these few tweaks (including both malts and hops) will get this beer to where we want it before we pull the trigger on launching. We’re adding a new hop, Amarillo, and getting rid of the Simcoe. Jeff was busy “working,” so Joel and I handled brewing operations on our own. Joel, in addition to being incredibly handsome, is also incredibly cheap. Instead of buying a new hose when ours sprung a leak, he opted for the hose repair kit. Which added approximately 20 hours to our brew day.

It’s reverse thread, you idiot! (not really)

Since Jeff was absent, his wife Hannah made the right decision and entrusted me with the baby monitor. You can see it in the following picture. Yep, monitoring babies and draining yeast. It’s how I do.

I don’t know if anyone noticed but it was hot as a chili cook-off in the Sahara last night [trying a new phrase ? yes or no?]. Thanks to all who came in spite of the heat and lack of beer. We love you, no matter what Joel says about your personal hygiene behind your back.

Brewing some good ol’ fashioned IPA tonight

8pm. Jeff’s house. Brewing an Eye Patch Ale. Come join us. That is all.

Actually, one other thing. We have very little beer tonight, so if you feel like drinking, you may want to bring some of your own to supplement our meager stash.

New t-shirts arriving soon!

We sold out of all of our t-shirts (unless you are an XL). Fortunately, we ordered more. The same, high quality American Apparel t-shirts, printed front and back, for only $10 a pop. In just a couple weeks you’ll be able to pick up something that looks a little bit like this:

We also ordered two surprise new t-shirt colors. We’ll post pictures once they arrive. COLLECT ALL THREE! Currently t-shirts can only be purchased on Monday nights at Jeff’s house. If there’s ever enough demand we’ll offer them online as well.

Monday Night recap: “When it rains, we pour” edition

First, I must attribute our post title to Monday Night first timer Jeff. We have been accused of many things (extreme handsomeness, delightfully balanced beers), but copyright infringement is not one of them.

We had some early showers last night, but that didn’t deter us from brewing a batch of Drafty Kilt. Funny story about last week. Apparently Jeff added the wrong yeast to our wit, rendering it less of a “Belgian” wheat beer and more of an “American” wheat beer. While this is a travesty in and of itself, it also meant that we needed to repitch last week’s yeast in this week’s beer. So I will merely ask the question: Is Jeff the new Joel?

Fortunately I think our mistake of a wheat beer will actually taste pretty nice. You can judge for yourself.

Thanks to everyone who came out last night. Stay tuned. We should be brewing an IPA soon. And we want you to be a part of it.

At 8pm tonight, the world stops. And brewing begins.

Help us brew a batch of our Drafty Kilt Scotch Ale tonight at 8pm at Jeff’s house. Especially if you are skilled in the areas of:

• Making the weather cooler
• Cleaning kegs
• Singing Bryan Adams tunes

Of course, you’re welcome regardless. Dogs on leashes are also welcome. Cats make me sneeze. We will also have a tasting of a couple of our other beers.