No brewing this Monday either

And before you say anything, let us say it first.

Yeah, we know. We’ve been less regular with the brewing these past 6 months. You might even say we’ve been so irregular that we need a little fiber in our brewing diet. We think that’s going too far.

Rest assured, even when we aren’t brewing, we’re usually doing something related to opening a business. You know, spreadsheets and legal documents and talking to rich people. That kind of stuff. This Monday will be no different. Okay, now that you’ve heard us out, you can leave your hate mail as comments.

Please address all hate mail to Joel.

No brewing this Monday

We’ll be taking the time to interrogate Joel on his mysterious absences these past few weeks. If you have any “interesting” and “legal” torture techniques you’d like us to know about, please leave them in the comments section.

The keg question

Kegs will represent a significant investment for us. Apparently stainless steel is the new black. And it’s worth its weight in gold. But while we have an idea of how much beer we will be able to sell, we still have to decide in what quantities we will be selling it.

There are 2 primary keg sizes: 1/2 barrel (BBL) an 1/6 BBL. A 1/2 BBL is 15.5 gallons, and 1/6 BBL is 5.16 gallons. There are also non-standard sizes such as 1/4 BBL, but we’ll leave those to the weirdos. Most craft breweries have a mix of 1/2 BBL and 1/6 BBL. Why?

• 1/2 BBL kegs are the standard, and are best for bars or restaurants where they are moving through the beer fairly quickly. There is also less picking up/dropping off of empty/full kegs since you are leaving more at the establishment. And of equal importance, selling in larger volumes allows you to offer discounts to the establishment.
• 1/6 BBL kegs are great because they take up much less space, don’t put as much pressure on an establishment to move a certain beer, and give an establishment a less costly (in absolute dollars) way to try a new beer.

So the question for us becomes: What mix of 1/2 and 1/6 BBL do we buy, given our goals and the type/number of establishments we want to be in? It’s a tough question. Which is why I’m going to leave it to Jeff, the spreadsheet guru.

Image source: dmmaus

Monday Night recap: “User error” edition

We decided to give our double IPA ? codenamed Blind Pirate ? another go last night. The Brew Gods were apparently not pleased with our choice. I think they are Drafty Kilt fans. We started the night by spilling approximately 200 tons of unmilled base malt on the garage floor. So that was fun to clean up. Also, by “we” I mean “I.”

Things started getting better, until we experienced a mysterious boil-over, despite adding Fermcap-S, our trusty anti-boil-over agent. Or should I make that EX-trusty anti-boil-over agent. This boil-over clogged up our burner, which we had to turn off, dismantle, clean, and reassemble. I’m not sure if the boil-over was due to user error, but given the events of the night, I wouldn’t put it past us.

Last, this happened:

Yes friends, it IS possible to melt a flashlight. Salvador Dalí, eat your heart out. Learning for the evening: If you leave a crappy flashlight next to a hot burner, it will melt. At least we weren’t trying to impress anyone. Like my fiance’s entire family, who came out to brew with us for the first time last night.

Despite the countless user errors, we ended up with what we think will be a great beer. Time will tell, if it doesn’t melt first. Thanks to all who came out ? it was cold. And we appreciate you.

Oh, I also burned my hand pretty badly. Stupid Brew Gods.

Brewing is on! UPDATE: BYOB

8pm. Casa de Jeff. Dress warmly. We’re planning on wrapping up around 10pm or so, so don’t dilly dally!

UPDATE: BYOB TONIGHT. We are out of beer. =(

Favorite beer slogan or branding element?

So I’m sitting here drinking a Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron (quite good, by the way). I’m reading the description. The last few sentences go:

At 10,000 gallons each, these are the largest wooden brewing vessels built in America since before Prohibition. It’s all very exciting. We have wood. Now you do too.

Quite subtle, Dogfish Head. They really snuck that sexual reference in there. While this wordplay isn’t quite Monday Night’s style, it did get me thinking about little branding elements or slogans other microbreweries employ. Craft breweries generally have more free reign than most companies with this type of thing. Though Terrapin did mysteriously rename their Wake-N-Bake the Coffee Oatmeal Imperial Stout for no apparent reason.

Do you have any favorite phrases from craft beer branding?

Check please!

We realize this is probably not as exciting to you as it is to us. But we sent out our first business check today. Or… we will, as soon as the Post Office starts delivering mail again. These are exciting times, friends.

Today, I logged into Quickbooks for the first time. Ever.

I printed a check for the first time. Ever.

I took a picture of a check in an envelope for the first time. Ever.

I blogged about a check for the first time. Ever.

Note: names and addresses blurred to protect those who will soon be receiving money from us