Cranberries = a punch in the face

At risk of forfeiting our manhood we have brewed a cranberry ale, which we are currently calling Pucker Punch. We thought a boxing analogy would trick everyone into thinking there was no fruit in it. I know everyone has been waiting on pins and needles for the next label to be revealed, especially after we received virtually no feedback on our Base Jumper Double IPA label. (Thanks. I knew it was perfect.) The quote for this latest brew is from Mark Twain:

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

So critique away, dear readers. And help us name our last outstanding experiment, our cream ale. We’ve had some good suggestions involving foamy mustaches and butter, but we’re still looking for that creamy gem hiding amongst the spoiled milk.

Sparge 2.0: The Reckoning

As long as everyone else is giving excuses for not participating in this month’s Session, I thought we might as well jump on board. To answer the naysayers, we were engaged in purchasing and assembling our brand spankin’ new sparging setup. By “we” I mean Peter. For those readers who don’t know what sparging is and think I just made up a word, sparging is essentially the process of rinsing the grains before boiling ? similar in effect to steeping a teabag.

Our new sparging system incorporates 2 coolers (1 5-gallon for the hot sparge water used for rinsing and 1 10-gallon used for the grains, also called the mash). Hot water flows from the smaller cooler through a tube into a little thingie that rests on the larger yellow cooler. The water utilizes a small elf on a treadmill to spin this thingie (the rinser) around. It looks like a sprinkler. Peter maintains that it works by centripetal force or some such hoonaney. But Peter is also a pathalogical liar.

Unfortunately we did hit a slight snag mid-sparge. We experienced what they call in the business a “stuck sparge.” Nothing major. Don’t panic. We powered through, and our beer will be none the worse for it.

Here’s a pic of the elf on the treadmill. You can’t see him. He’s got his invisibility cloak on.

How not to impress your friends with your brewing prowess

First off, when your friend (hey Katy!) rolls up, don’t have your newest batch of WeissGuy hefeweizen sitting on the counter in all its tepid glory. Even though it’s officially one week away from drinkability, I thought I would crack one. Mostly because of the recent beer shortage, brought on by an exploding batch of Roundhouse Pale Ale.

I sipped on her for awhile, but she didn’t treat me right. Let’s say I won’t be asking her on a date again. Let’s hope another week or two works some magic on this hefeweizen. I have a sneaking suspicion that using plastic buckets for fermentation is going to bite us big time with these last few batches.

If you REALLY don’t want to impress your friend with your brewing prowess, serve her a Redcoat Bitter/Geyser. I popped the cap off of one and it started spewing foam like Mt. St. Helens. “Okay,” I thought. “No big deal. I’ll just get another one. She’ll be understanding.” I decided to pour this second bitter into a glass to prevent the carbonation from being squeezed up and out of a little glass neck. Smart in theory. Unfortunately, I ended up pouring an entire mug-full of foam.

It almost makes it worse that after the dust settled the beer actually tasted pretty durn good. Here’s hoping glass carboys are the antidote.

Base Jumper Double IPA

As promised, here is the first of 3 new brew labels after our brewing field day on Monday. We’ve also got a Cranberry Ale (Pucker Punch) and a Cream Ale (as yet unnamed). This is a first draft, so comments are accepted, expected and encouraged. Note on the Cream Ale– we are definitely still looking for a name, so if a Name Fairy visits you in your slumber and whispers sweet namings into your ear, let us know. One stipulation: nothing sexual. I know, that pretty much wiped out all the names you were about to submit.

And if you can’t read the quote on the Base Jumper label:
“For fools rush in where angels fear to tread” ? Alexander Pope

Appellation Beer throws down some beer rules

In the spirit of the now defunct Miller Man Laws campaign, Stan at Appellation Beer has been slowly churning out a new standard of “Beer Rules.” Doesn’t quite roll off the tongue like Man Laws… But neither does Brew Edicts. So I think Beer Rules is fine.

NEW BEER RULE #2: A beer consumer should not be allowed to drink a beer with IBU higher than her or his IQ.

I thought this fitting, seeing as we tried our hand at a Double IPA (tentatively named the Base Jumper Double) on Monday. I think the IBU’s are going to be around infinity, so you’ll have to be in a Mensa group to drink it. See Stan’s entire post here. And be sure to participate in the upcoming Session!

Motherly brewing advice (from my mother)

Last night, my mom sent me an email about our brewing processes. It was the best email I’ve ever gotten from her. (Mom, if you’re r ading this, that’s not true.)

Just read Jeff’s blog about the plastic buckets. I would switch to glass. Plastic tends to hold flavors in them and you can’t wash them out. The yeast may be staying in the plastic.
You know, that’s my professional brewer’s opinion!
mom

We actually came to the same conclusion, independent from above “professional brewer’s opinion.” Jeff purchased a few glass carboys from Bob the Brewmaster yesterday before brewing three consecutive batches of beer (more on that later). Fortunately for us, Jeff resisted Bob’s attempts to upsell us cheap plastic handles for the carboys. I am so thankful that we have a brewmaster capable of saying no to a cheap, efficient way to carry precious gallons of beer in fragile glass containers.

All signs point to YES

Jeffrey at Wort’s Going On Here? recently posted about an article outlining the positive trends in craft brewing. His comments:

According to a Boston Patriot Ledger article, craft beer sales have risen 30% versus mainstream beers 2% increase, driven by the American public’s desire to enjoy premium items, like artisanal foods, gourmet popcorn and ice cream. Boston Beer company, maker of Samuel Adams, grew 17% last year, and Harpoon Brewery grew 14%. Even Coors Brewing Company’s Blue Moon beer has grown 20%!

I choose to view this article as a personal sign from God that our efforts in attempting to establish a micro will be rewarded. Thank you God. Now, please send us another sign. Perhaps have Joel and/or Jeff fired from their current jobs and escorted out by security?

Many thanks to Jeffrey for the tip.