Pirates were a noble people

From another friend… All pirates had discrete goals for every voyage, decided in a democratic fashion before leaving port. An example:If you need any pirate gear, check out the Valencia store.

The Swashchuckler personified

Check out this clown. He’s totally Monday Night Brewery material.

Thanks to my roommate Scott Stephens for the pirate love. Speaking of Swashchuckler, Scott also told me why pirates wear eye patches. They wear a patch so that they can be “night-vision-ready” when going below deck. They just switch the patch over to the other eye and BAM. They can see in the dark. Keep in mind that Scott is a dirty dirty liar so I have no way of verifying this. But it makes sense.

The (not so) Holy Grail Ale

Last night I supped at TWO: Urban Licks for the first time. Great restaurant and some fabulous food (though I think I may prefer ONE overall). As TWO is known for their kegs of wine (upon first entering I hoped they would be beer kegs) I opted to take a break from beer and order a wine portion to share with Mary Stuart. We happened to have the waiter who wanted to ID both of us and when Mary Stuart didn’t have her ID, she was denied service. I decided I’d just go for beer instead.

The beer list had most of the domestic and international standards but the one that stuck out to me was Monty Python’s Holy Grail Pale Ale from Black Sheep Brewery in England. It’s a great movie and I expected the same from the beer. Unfortunately the Pale Ale tended to taste a lot more like a lager albeit a not too impressive one. It had some decent body to it but not really any complexity and a lack of interesting hops from what I could tell. Mary Stuart took a sip and said it “tastes like a slightly stronger version of the beers my dad drinks” (Coors and Bud) which was actually a pretty accurate characterization of what I was thinking. Overall they’ve got great marketing (hey, they got me to pick it from a list of 20 beers), a great bottle (pint sized with a unique shape) but unfortunately a lackluster beer. In the end I guess it’s not “all about the brand” Jonathan, it’s “all about the beer” (and having sweet business cards).

Spreadsheets and art

Last Monday was our second attempt at a partial mash, this time the goal was 5 gallons of the “Breakfast Stout.” After spending the previous week pouring over Ray Daniel’s “Designing Great Beers” I had begun constructing what is evolving into a true work of art – the beer spreadsheet. Just enter a few parameters, and it spits out water volumes, GU’s, IBU’s, etc. For some reason, I never looked at an Excel spreadsheet as a blank canvas, begging for life and meaning. But there’s something about a table which automatically populates my grain bill that has changed all that.

In all seriousness, it has become clear to me that making beer is a remarkable balance of art and science, and I have much to learn about both. And I think that’s why I’m having so much fun brewing.

Heaven will be a lot like a microbrewery

On my excursion back to Nashville this weekend I thought I’d take the opportunity to check out the local micro, Yazoo. Given that they started up in 2003, they weren’t around when I was in high school (nor was I able to purchase their beer due to “underage-ity“). So. My brother and I made the trek to Yazoo, which happens to be in an old factory just west of downtown. My brother took his camera and basically just took pictures of me drooling in awe. There were a few pics that either didn’t have me in them or didn’t have me drooling. They can be found at my brother’s Flickr site. Before I get into the nitty gritty, an interesting thing happened on the way to the brewery. We passed this sign:

Yes, it was a “sign” indeed. So let me just say that my brother and I were essentially the only tour participants. Which was sweet. There was actually one regular, Wilson, who tagged along, but he was too drunk to interfere with my enjoyment. I got to eat grains, smell hops, peek into brew kettles, and, of course, sample the goods.

In summary: the beer was good (try their Pale Ale), the people were great. Do yourself a favor and support your local micro ? and if you don’t live in Tennessee, look out for Yazoo, because they’re a-coming for you.

Stout like lion, good like beer

Who knew the Sri Lankans could brew like this? Last night I was having a nice dinner with the family at F. Scott’s in Nashville. Two things of note. 1) The valet told me mine was the only car he’d parked playing Immortal Technique. Immortal Technique is kind of heavy underground hip-hop, to which I was most definitely “b mping.” 2) While F. Scott’s has nothing on tap, they DO have Lion Stout, which was recommended to me by our waiter.

I took a sip… delicious. Heavy and nutty with strong chocolate overtones. Less bitter than most stouts. And then I looked at the bottle. Sri Lanka?! You’re a long way from home, little buddy. And not just Sri Lankan, but 8.0% alcohol. It truly is a lion. In case you were wondering, the makers of Lion Stout can be found here. I was also doing a little searching and found a write-up on the beer by self-proclaimed Beer Hunter Michael Jackson (not that Michael Jackson). This guy is insane. And by insane I mean AWESOME. Is this really his job?

How you know it’s good

I went to a bar last night. To pick up chicks… or meet some guys for a drink. Whatever. Regardless, I was less than impressed by The Rusty Nail’s beer selection. Here’s how you know a bar is going above and beyond the call of duty: Of 5 meager beers on tap, approximately 20% of them were Pabst Blue Ribbon.

I mean, seriously? You’re a bar, and only 80% of your draft beers are NOT piss-water. Serve a Swashchuckler for crying out loud.