This was the main takeaway from our Hop City beer tasting at Octane this week, in which we gave free pint glasses to those who dressed as pirates or wore kilts.
This makes intuitive sense, once you think about it. A kilt is a commitment. An eye patch is easy. A kilt costs serious money and requires someone who has either really high self esteem or no fashion sense to wear one (sometimes both). An eye patch can be as easy as wrapping a dirty napkin around your eye, in some cases. See below for exactly what I’m talking about.
We’ll start with the pirate family… including the one and only kilt-wearing man we served.
Let not the cuteness of this young pirate fool you. For he will STEAL YOUR BOOTY!
The bird makes the outfit. Unless that’s a part of her arm? In which case I suggest immediate medical attention.
Perhaps he’s not dressed “as a pirate,” but that’s a pirate expression if I ever saw one. I wonder what unfortunate swashbuckling incident led to 4 pirates simultaneously losing sight in their right eyes? Probably an octopus with hot pokers for arms. (And yes, I know the real reason pirates wear eye patches.)
You aren’t fooling anyone, sir. That is a napkin over your glasses. But we’ll count it, because you do look ridiculous, and that’s the first rule of pirate fashion.
Sell it with that face, Captain Duct Tape!
And finally, the cutest pirate couple AAAARRRH-ound.