Note to self: do not conduct a beer run on a riding lawnmower, particularly if intoxicated. From an Illinois AP story:
With a revoked license because of a previous drunken-driving conviction, Dennis Cretton shouldn’t drive. But authorities said that didn’t stop the 49-year-old man from drunkenly driving up to a gas station for more beer ? on his yellow riding lawnmower.
Cretton was charged with felony aggravated driving under the influence after neighbors reported he was weaving in and out of traffic on his lawnmower Friday night.
When deputies tried to stop him, authorities said Bretton drove the mower into his home’s front yard, his 12-pack of Milwaukee’s Best spilling onto the ground along the way.
NOOOO! His 12-pack of Milwaukee’s Best spilling onto the ground?! It was probably a 3-pack of Milwaukee’s Best by the time he got home. And that only leaves 3 delicious Milwaukee’s Bests to bribe annoyed deputies with. Far too few, in my experience. I also wonder how he accomplishes weaving in and out of traffic. Was the Belleville, IL traffic at a standstill on Friday? Or was his lawnmower like greased lightening? So many questions…
Image source: l e o j